Spiritual Journey: Appreciating Every Encounter-Rev. Takashi Nagashima

By Rev. Takashi Nagashima

Minister of the San Francisco Dharma Center, USA

This Spiritual Journey was presented at the ceremony for Founder’s Memorial Day, held at the Great Sacred Hall on March 4, 2017.

Rev. Nagashima delivers his personal spiritual experience in the Great Sacred Hall.

Good morning, everyone. Thank you very much for giving me this opportunity to share my Dharma experience on this meaningful day.

I was born as the first son of the Nagashima family at Yokosuka City in Kanagawa Prefecture, Japan. I am now sixty-four years old, and I have a younger brother and a sister. At age fifty-two, I was appointed as minister at the Brazil Dharma Center, and then at age sixty, as minister at the San Francisco Dharma Center. A little while after I started my ministry at the San Francisco Dharma Center, I became aware that no new members had joined, and I felt embarrassed about it. That was because in Brazil, many people were guided as new members to the Dharma center. So I compared the two Dharma centers, and could not see any strong points of the San Francisco Dharma Center, although the center had many. However, as I practice the teachings with members of the San Francisco Dharma Center year after year, I have become aware of their strong points. Now I feel that I am sustained by the Buddha, and every day, I am happy to practice the Dharma with a sense of gratitude.

Last year, in his first Dharma talk, President Niwano explained the term onshu, which means “to review past events.” This year, for his New Year’s guidance, he referred to “the preciousness of life and our gratitude to it.” According to the guidance of the Kosei Shimbun newspaper, dated January 1, 2017, the President states, “It is precisely because they have bitter and sorrowful memories that they can understand the suffering of others and be considerate.” My heart and soul were shaken when I read that, because it reminded me of my father and Mr. Minami, whom I met in my boyhood, then a staff member assigned to the Kanagawa area from the headquarters’ youth division.

In my childhood, I was completely overwhelmed with an inferiority complex and an overall gloomy character. My family was poor, and my parents always had quarrels. My father, an electric welder, had a short temper. He often slapped my mother, me, and my younger brother. I kept hating him as far back in the past as I can remember. I always thought over four desires: killing my father, leaving home, setting my house afire, and killing myself.

When I was two years old, my father’s colleague, Ota, guided my parents to the teachings of Rissho Kosei-kai. Even though my parents became members, they continued quarrelling with each other. However, my mother continued to visit the Dharma Center every day. I still vaguely remember that she took me to the center.

When I was a fifth grade of the elementary school, my father forced me to participate in a Dharma training session for junior high school students at the Yokosuka Dharma Center. As I could not reject his order, I joined it grudgingly. When I was chanting the mantra odaikoku repeatedly as I was told, Mr. Minami whispered in my ear, “Thank you very much for your participation.”

The words were so unexpected that I was greatly surprised, and tears welled up in my eyes at the moment. I clung onto him and cried.

I felt I was being treated as a human being for the first time in my life. I was very happy. Then I decided to follow him.

From that time, I came to accept assignments by the Dharma center in a positive manner, although I had always taken a negative attitude. I played various roles at school as well as at the center, because I want Mr. Minami to be happy and praise me. In this way, I could take a step forward, but I was still frightened when my father was close to me. I underwent surgery for a duodenal ulcer at age twenty-one. I thought that my hatred against my father appeared in the form of an ulcer, but in fact, this unfortunate event was the working of the Buddha’s compassion. When the surgery was successful, my father rejoiced with a boyish grin. I had never seen such an expression on his face. Lying in bed in the hospital, I thought he was worried about me. When I really understood his feelings, my scary feelings toward him, which lasted for twenty years, gradually changed to affection. Then I reflected on the past and realized it was my father who brought me into contact with Mr. Minami. Now I believe that his words at the training session spiritually transformed me, only thanks to my father’s harshness. My father passed away at such an early age, just sixty-four years. Just before the last moment, he gazed at me with complete trust and asked me to take care of my mother. I answered him, “Leave it to me.”

When I was young, my mother was crying every evening. However, now I think she might be stronger than my father. She continued to visit Rissho Kosei-kai despite his shouting and slapping her. In tears, she went back and forth to the Dharma center. When my mother shared her reminiscences, she told me, “At night my husband made me cry, and in the daytime a hoza facilitator made me cry,” as her reminiscences. When I passed over the age of ten, peace and comfort were brought to my home little by little. My family became harmonious even though we had little money. I couldn’t describe how hard my mother worked for the Dharma practice until my family attained happiness.

In my twenties, I once asked my mother, “Why are you devoted to the faith so earnestly?” Then she answered, “I am afraid that something bad will happen as a lesson from the Buddha.” Precisely because I was then expecting a more reasonable and persuasive answer, I was disappointed. And what she said to me remained in my mind for a long time. When I told this story to my wife in my fifties, she responded to me by saying, “Your mother might have been afraid that bad things would happen to you, not to her.” I was so surprised and felt like I had been hit in the head. I remembered that, actually, she was once told in a hoza session that her first son would die young. At the moment I recognized that she had devoted her whole life to me, a deep sense of appreciation came from the bottom of my heart. It was she who was most delighted to hear that I had been assigned as minister at the Brazil Dharma Center. It was also she who was sad, as she had to live separately from me.

Every November, however, I was allowed to come back to Japan, and I was able to spend almost two weeks. In her later years, she always told me, “I may not see you again next year.” I thought she was lonely. When I heard the news of her critical condition in August 2009, thanks to President Niwano’s thoughtful arrangement, I was allowed to return to Japan temporarily. When I visited the hospital where she was being treated, she suddenly sat straight on the bed, saying, “Reverend, you’ve come to me.” My younger brother and his wife, who were taking care of her, were also so surprised. Since then, I have spent time with her for about one month. She passed away at the age of eighty-three, leaving her last words, “I am grateful. I’m grateful.” I saw her off with all my family members.

Thanks to my parents and Mr. Minami, I could have a variety of experiences. I felt resentment and fear, but I was also able to experience the joy of being praised. Those experiences are now my priceless treasures. Thank you very much.

Rev. Nagashima gives a lecture at the San Francisco Dharma Center.

I would like to share another experience I had when I was first exploring the strengths of the San Francisco Dharma Center. There is a sixteen-year-old girl, whom I will tentatively call Mary. When I first met her, about four years ago, she always seemed to be in a bad mood. Whenever she visited the center to attend ceremonies or seminars, she always did her homework sitting in the back rows of the room. Honestly speaking, I had a bitter feeling against her. I could not see the buddha nature within herself. But, on the other hand, she seemed to be similar to me at that age, and therefore, I hoped that she could attain happiness. Communication and interaction with such a sensitive teenage girl is very difficult. Whenever I see her, I greet her cheerfully with the best wishes. After a while, I discovered how smart and clever she is, and she speaks both English and Japanese fluently, as her father is American and her mother is Japanese.

At the Dharma center, both Japanese and English are used during seminars, testimonies, and my Dharma talks. One day, I asked Mary, “Do you understand my English?” She answered, “Yes. Your talk is interesting.” I was so happy to hear this. For me, it was a twofold joy. The first joy was that my poor English was accepted, and the second was that I could reach out to her heart and mind. I found that she always did her homework at the center, but also listened to my talks.

Mary’s parents were divorced, so she stayed at her father’s home on Thursdays and Fridays, and at her mother’s home on the other days. That’s why her mother took her to the center every Sunday. I thought she was a good girl. I thought her facial expression had become gentle and bright, as my perspective of her had changed.

One day, my wife said to me, “Mary was worried about you because you didn’t seem to be doing well today.” I was so moved. I thought I was always worried about her, but in reality, she was watching over me. Now I was aware that she was an emissary from the Buddha to manifest my own buddha nature. When I realized this, I thanked her from the bottom of my heart. Further, it was not only she but all members of the Dharma Center who worried about me. How precious it was for me.

In the New Year’s guidance, President Niwano teaches us, “Becoming human beings who are capable of gratitude—don’t you think we can say that this is, after all, the aim of our faith?” And he also describes what we should practice in a concrete way by saying that “Something you particularly must not forget is to express your thankfulness and gratitude precisely in words.”

“Four Words for Happiness” is a set of watchwords for members of the San Francisco Dharma Center. They are: “Thank you,” “I’m sorry,” “I’m grateful,” and “It’s wonderful.”

I always told members to speak these watchwords, but actually, it was I who should have said them first.

Furthermore, I aspire to be a person who can accept everything, whether it is convenient or inconvenient to me, with gratitude. Like Mr. Minami, I also wish to be someone who can remind suffering people of a sense of gratitude, hope, peace, and forgiveness. I believe that these wishes are what my parents wanted me to attain.

Thanks to Founder Niwano, I was liberated. Thanks to my wife, my younger brother and his wife, and the members, I’ve been walking the path leading to buddhahood this far.

Now, people say that the world we live in is challenged by global divisions. The Founder taught us the One Vehicle: “All sentient beings aboard the same vehicle are sustained to live by great life.” I believe that we must communicate this teaching to people worldwide and make it a common aspiration for humanity. I must realize that I was born to achieve this goal, and I wish to make a vow to dedicate myself to the global dissemination of the Dharma. Thank you very much.