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Although nothing is as pleasing as receiving praise, people don’t seem to like praising others.

I’m often asked, “How can I be like you and see people’s good points without focusing on their faults?” I suspect that people only see other’s shortcomings because their urge to compete is too strong. People do their utmost to protect themselves—including trying not to show their weaknesses—and most are not about to let themselves lose.

I don’t attempt to “win” like that. Instead, I am quick to take my hat off to those who outshine me and ask them to teach me.

Since we are all fellow children of the Buddha, what sense is there in trying to compete with one another? With this way of thinking, we are released from the concern for self-defense that puts us in a straightjacket. This naturally engenders magnanimity that allows us to see the good in other people. We have eyes of compassion.

If a husband and wife can preserve this magnanimity, their everyday life will dramatically change. I believe that herein lies the secret to garnering sincere praise.

Nikkyo Niwano

Kaisozuikan, Kosei Publishing. pp.250-251

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