Dear Abhidharma: Gaining Wisdom for Life's Modern Challenges (1)

Life often presents us with complex challenges that can feel overwhelming. Whether it's relationship difficulties, family conflicts, or personal dilemmas, finding clear guidance is not always easy. For decades, the advice column Dear Abby has offered practical and compassionate responses that have helped people navigate life's challenges with greater confidence and clarity.

This RK USA version, written by Rev. Kris Ladusau, former Minister of Oklahoma, explores how the Buddha's wisdom remains just as relevant today and how its timeless principles can be applied to everyday situations. Drawn from the 2011 archives of the Sangha in Motion newsletter, these reflections offer Buddhist perspectives on common life concerns and encourage us to view our challenges through the lens of the Dharma.

Dear Abhidharma,

My daughter is in a new school this year. She is in fifth grade at a city

public school. She has told me a couple of times that there is a very

popular girl who is openly mean to her on the playground and in the

restrooms. Today, she adamantly refused to go to school because the

girl said that my daughter would be beaten up if she was in the bath-

room at the same time. I wanted to call the principal and discuss the

matter, but my daughter pleaded with me not to say anything because it

would only make things worse. What should I do? - Mom of Crying Kid

Dear Mom of Crying Kid,

I know this must be very hard for you as a mother to see your

daughter suffering. This is a very serious problem in the schools. Al-

Though practical advice includes reporting this to the school authorities

and holding them accountable to enforce the current protective measures-

ures—from the Buddhist perspective, this is a true opportunity for

You have an important bonding experience with your daughter

too.

I would guide you to sit with her and listen deeply for as long

as she wants to talk. The important aspect is you listening… If

you have a husband or partner, it is important for them to also be

a part of this process. Compassionate listening and letting her feel

your support on all levels is what is needed the most right now.

This interaction will not only be important with this situation, but

will also be reflected in future situations. The merit of this can be

seen in a better relationship with your daughter and also between

the adults of the household (if that is the case.)

Also, another positive outcome can be that your daughter will be

a more compassionate individual because of working through this

experience with the help of the Dharma.

Dear Abhidharma: Life's modern challenges by Rev. Kris Ladusau.